oOo blur Archer oOo

07 AUG 2007

2007-08-07T07:47:00.000+08:00

Just to share some words or phrases or verse that i saw in the Magazine, "Vaidurya". which i think is..erm..nice? =] well, it makes senses to me, so i'll just share.

Venerable Shi FaZhao:

"Many sufferings in life come from one's anger and inability to relax. If one is always knitting one's brows in despair or knashing one's teeth in anger whenever one meets difficulties, then naturally one would always be unhappy. Life is short and everything passes in an instant. There is nothing worth worrying about.

We have two choices in life: to live happily or to live miserably. If you choose the former, then stop worrying about little things in life. Be kind to yourself and to life!"

=====================

" "We have to always remember this saying," good begets good and evil begets evil. it's a matter of time." In life, if we plant good seeds, we will get good results. If we plant bad seeds, we will get bad results. This is not fatalism but a natural consequence of our thoughts and behaviour. To have a happy life, we have to understand that happiness comes from sincerity, acceptance and respect in human relationships. Our survival and development comes from countless human relationships so we should always live and let live."

2006-12-07T16:38:00.000+08:00

My Slide ShoW~~~yay~

| View Show | Create Your Own

jObLess

2006-12-03T14:06:00.000+08:00

aRghs~im jobless omg~ -__-

http://www.speedtest.net/

im hoping every day will be a better day each time i open my eyes... i Need tO get a joB...

=.= *having a crappy day*

bLogging craps

2006-10-10T17:03:00.000+08:00

mmMm~ went to watch StAy aLive last week... maybe because im abit of a gamer... thats why i kinda like this movie i supposed. The Website: http://video.movies.go.com/stayalive/

The atmosphere and all~ creepy..hmm and etc hahas.nice.maybe people who goes for story line based movie wont like it much~ plus it's like...combination of Gaming online and real life. But if such a game exist -_- i suppose i'll die of fright way before the countess find her way to me.

hmm~a few eye catching movies but~some doesnt have trailers *sads*~ im not sure if this is nice http://www.sukobthemovie.com/about.html a wedding curse movie. sometimes... nvr judge a movie by its synopsis -_-
i supposed this is a mystery film~ http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/theblackdahlia/
This caught i supposed almost all's attention~if attention is paid to adverts during movie session? http://www.apple.com/trailers/touchstone/theprestige/
And the last one i supposed~ http://www.apple.com/trailers/miramax/thenightlistener/

If movie is not nice must let me know the reviews oO~ =)

*Still hoping every tml is a better day~* *cHeeRs*

2006-09-16T08:51:00.000+08:00

waos~ i saw my last post... dated march 10. Man~what a lazy bone i have..hahas.around 7 months of not blogging. Each time i wanna blog.. jus felt tired~and i would reminisce about the day i started blogging. Well..how time flies. Now~i can only reminisce. hmm and~about the blog skin.well,i noticed i really like this skin,doesnt plan to change.it matches the melancholy me sometimes.

7 months of not blogging...when i look back,i felt i learned alot. So much things were going on...
Works are forever there.. til now,it's still pilling up. yaps~only a few days ago i almost broke down...cuz,i have to answer to 3 people regarding work,each pressing me to get it done by deadline...and the 3 deadlines are kinda close to each other.

Sometimes i wonder,what do we live for? for work? for money?
i wonder why are we so busy everyday...
sometimes i jus wanna take a break and bring my family out for a gd meal. i wanna take some time out,listen to what my mum have to say, hear her complain about her work, show her that i care. Maybe people will think that im just being such a pessimist, having negative thoughts...

Well, i used to think about all these but not alot, until my grandma pass away in around June. it was a terrible experience. Memories of my grandma just flashed across my head as i was holding back my tears. In my coming new year i wont get to see her anymore, she wont get to taunt us anymore. No matter what i do... she's gone. How fragile life can be~ i dreamt about her for a few weeks, i still miss her... her smile, her naggings. i tried to be strong during those days~when my mum's tears fell like rain. Some of my colleagues were supportive, a very special thanks to them. Cause' they touched my heart by contributing cares and concerns, what i see...is their effort, their friendships, kindness...and loves.these acts is enough to warm my heart; at least, humanity still survives in such a realistic world. I love my grandma. and though sometimes, i may not be patient enough to spare extra time for my mum... I love my mummy.
Around last month my boyfriend's grandfather passed away... such is life some would say *Sighs*

Well, we have to move on in life... like what people usually says, the world will just keep on turning. Memories~are kept in our heart.

Went to watch "The Banquet" yesterday. well, not bad but if you're someone who goes for action, laughters...skip this movie bah. It's a more "quiet" show but displays diiferent emotions about different people. Im still wondering if it's worth my ticket money. Recently i went to browse www.talkingcock.com website. hmm, inside the website, alot of post were promoting one of our local films just out recently, i went to download the trailer...looks not bad. The film is called "Singapore Dreaming", had slightly good feeling about this show after watching the trailer, you guys looking at what im typing can try viewing the trailer: http://www.singaporedreaming.com/trailer.htm

hmm,im still considering my resignation at my current job... *sighs* kinda mentally tired of the pilling workload.

Let's just hope every tml will be a better day *cheers*

Lost in the music of my own...

2006-03-10T19:03:00.000+08:00

Theme of the day... "Lost in the music of my own..."
Frankly... i dont really know why did i come up with such title for the day... but well~sounds nice.jus... feeling kinda lousy todae. no idea why. i know i sound stupid... below written in chinese:

小丑也有悲伤的时候。。。
或许，是因为他的尊严。。。
所以他不愿让人看见。。。
他告诉自己。。。
小丑的。。。
眼泪，是在心里流；
孤寂只能自己承受；
羡慕只能混合着妒嫉的滋味，硬吞进肚子里；
快乐是得和别人分享；
资格是能忍受被遗忘的时候；
自私是当他把孤单的一天留给自己；
伤心是当他得牺牲自己换取给别人的成全；。。。
还有许多。。。
他也曾想过。。。
什么时候，才是他真正感到快乐的时候~
当他想要一个属于自己的快乐。。。又害怕自己太自私。
当他想要别人和他分享的快乐。。。又害怕自己没资格。
当他想要别人和他一起的快乐。。。又害怕自己会伤心。

。。。如何是好~

---Blurarcher心底的话

好了啦。暂时只想到这些。有空再续吧。让我一个人继续落寞。。。

2006-02-15T21:09:00.000+08:00

backs... was wondering if i should blogged... im feeling~ bad... i dont know if i've got depression or what.Eventually i did a thing that betrayed myself. i'm not sure if it's a longing to do it or whatever... it doesn't feel gd. well...at least for a moment i thot i was in heaven. kinda make myself unfocused...divert my attn, my anger. what is it? im not sure... who else understands me? noone~ honestly. and i supposed noone will make an effort to do so i guessed. no respect for me in the home either... so i guess i prefer to stay at my bf's house... i supposed at least his mother will spare a glance for me sometimes someday on and off...my house? my home? they only knoow how to despise, only know how to bias, how to gossip abt you, how to throw unpleasant profanity at you if they think their english is more "powderful" then you. Some pple jus like to throw the unpleasant *F words at you cause they think they're so much cooler then you... or becuz they think their english is more beta then you. i supposed they dont find it uncivilized.
No offense... i dont mean everyone... i just wanna specifically mention... my younger sister. Out of her "respect" for me..she used *F word on me...not directly but in MSN. Yes...quarrel. so i apologise to her already... i supposed i've seen through so much in my house... al is like a show? movie? or... drama? yes...drama. i rather choose not to stay in this house with this kinda of sister...who is younger then me. hahas. funny... She likes to show her temper...right on her fae whether you like it or not... how selfish? If you ask her what's wrong... she'll just straight away give you a good scolding i supposed. Someone who doesnt... consider other people's feeling... She'll stab your heart by talking without using her brains. i supposed thats why she failed her O's and refused to retake the exam. She got either major brain damage or low IQ. i dont blame her...

Someone whom i supposed aint gd enough for me to give even a damn to her. Who is she to me? a bitch..? thats what my friend told me in school, while im in collage. They were saying how "Sexy" is her photo on friendster. i felt so embarrassed that i said nothing. One of my secondary sch friend even asked me if my sis is having any problems... why and how did she turned out like that in the photos... lols. I supposed to atract more guys... for what? how would i know? too bad i've deleted her from my friendster... *Phew*

i know i might be sounding crazy at the moment. Somehow... i guess i'll just have to treat her as my "sister" superficially.. going deeper? nothing else. She said she wanna disown me... fine. A trouble less for me. Why not. I dont have to face a bitch more often then.

She started it...

good... or Bad? caught in the middle...

2006-01-05T20:19:00.000+08:00

looking at the date i've last blogged... this time im back.. cuz... i find some things... that i cant really get it off my chest. Arguements again. Between both of us.

Sometimes i think im foolish...cuz he's not someone~ who will... im not talking abt sweet talk... but somehow..find some sweet ways to talk things out... i guess he nvr was such person and i guess he nvr will be one. during arguements he will always come head on to me... dumping what he thot into my face. Saying how unreasonable i am. Saying how... i had treated him now nvr happened in the past. It really makes me go racking my brains... Is it that i've been too nice in the past? Do people really take you for granted when you're being too nice? ... And only realised how nice you were when you treat them bad?

I just hate it when he did that. Saying why am i like this... why am i like that... and it's a must for him to make his point to me... that im in the wrong. So i have to apologise. Sometimes makes me feel that he's my guardian or someone that needs to educate me... sometimes feel like crying... but im too tired... Is it so hard to... hais.

i didnt wanna start an arguement purposely... and of course not w/o any reasons... i guess he just doesnt get a hint what i need... from the fuss i've made. and ended everything with a harsh gd bye... Or... telling each other to call only when both is feeling beta. In the past... i thot~ it was ok. but... afterall... im a girl too. Is a pinch of sweetener so hard to be added in? or is it too expensive?

Last wk... he made known to me~that he's not romantic at all... this maybe i can try to understand... but i guess~ im kinda tired. I supposed i've been givin too much... thinking of ways to make him feel special. Specially made or prepare stuffs for him. Or... make plans to leave some special moments for him to reminisce. I've nvr gotten one from him before though. I guess he'll think it's either a waste of his time doing those foolish stuffs... or he's busy.
I know i shouldnt ask for any return... i aint asking for any...
i suppose... im just tired emotionally...

just... kinda confused. what are my feelings...

so long~ im back...

2005-08-25T19:59:00.000+08:00

im... backs... to blogging... i looked at e date and finally realised how very long i've not been blogging. Been busy with works though... Over times... tiring. hmm... i saw on TV about some body arts and find it quite interesting~ and i came across this url, i supposed the owner's a blogger too. Find the web site kinda interesting. So to share with you guys:

http://cloudmonkey.com/archives/2002_02_01_archive.html

hmm what else to add... e new sony ericsson walkman mobile phone W550i? well, it does look cool to me.. lolz. i dont deny i would like to aim for one... saw at selln at $700++++ by M1 either new contract or upgrade term... below is a preview of the phone.

well, to share with you guys... i've got quite a gd web site which i'll visit frequently~ hmm to check out all mobile phones on and off... they've got the specs reviews and pictures~ find it kinda resourceful esp. for peeps who would like to get a phone yet not sure which mobile phone to get or aim for ^_^v

http://asia.cnet.com/reviews/handphones/0,39031286,39094880p-1+,00.htm?

or... browse through the forum for handphones: http://asia.cnet.com/reviews/handphones/

hmm if we move on to the movies~~ i guess most prob "The Maid" will come to mind isnt it... hahas. I looked forward to the movie feeling some doubt~ afterall... local movie right? hmm well.. was kinda satisfied with the show if we were to compare it within our local standard... kinda scary... errie... etc. it was~ nice? lols. well, at least personally... i felt it was not bad and would worth a ticket. Hmm~ some shows... some effects... you've just got to watched it in a cinema will you then know and feel the atmosphere and thrillness bah...

http://www.mediacorpraintree.com/themaid/

well.. shall end here. God bless all... and take cares ^_^v

back agains~

2005-07-11T20:57:00.000+08:00

waos...suddenly i realised i did not blog for such a long time liaos. hehehes. Now working life is kinda tired man... when pay day comes~ muahahas... shopping! hmm oks... so far, not much happening. except for fridae went to party world i think... with the wong sisters, HL, and e gang - Tian Rong, Nico, Shirley, Jason. had quite a fun time and reached home at near 11.30pm~ kinda tired~ reached home can get ready to K.O anytime.

hmmm~ todae they actually suggested to watch Fantastic 4 after work... but i figured im kinda tired somemore its a monday, so i decided to give it a miss. Tag along with Ling to buy her hair thing wors~ >.< only watson got sell i guess..lols. And i bought 2 pairs of shoes from MAD! hehehes. Quite cheap ar, both 19.90 still got 20% discount~ =D now left with some clothes~ hehes. and a pair of specs hehes. i still got a balance of 120 bucks to settle for my specs.

=.='' this month feeling broke liaos. so many things to buy~ my wallet spoil somemore~ hope not a symptom that my $ fly fly lors...~ =x lols...find myself getting lamer =.=''

sometimes work is stressful... but~ hmm so far so gd bah. Hope everything is fine for u guys too. Take gd cares and stay funky wors~ =) God bless.

Photobucket

2005-06-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

0___0

2005-06-18T16:49:00.000+08:00

tiring and hot day... -___-" hmm... well, yesterday went to company's AVS day... a day for my department... went to Bishan ITE for games and stuffs. After that we went back to company to take our stuffs~ Had a tiring day... after the event, me and Ling went to Bishan for lunch, joined by Anthony lor. Hees... went shopping, hehes, bought 1 polo tee from ice Lemon Tee, 1 racer back from 77th Street and 1 set long sleeve top from Baleno~ wishing the rest of the pay can tahan me for 2 more weeks like that~ yeas. Still have to buy fathers' day present.
=====================================================================================

hmm~ dont know why. Jus kinda feelin... neutral~ hmm i noe the weather is hot, and well, one's temper would raise because of the weather. I smsed him earlier saying that, we should skipped the meeting part today - im not angry at him for sleeping til late afternoon~ honestly... im not. hmm~ suddenly im not very sure of what i want anymore. Jus wonder sometimes... that each time he raised his voice at me, i'll just make myself drift further apart from him. Sometimes, yes...its me who raised my voice. its me who picked a fight first... maybe im going over board that lead to such situations~ Feeling tired~
Just hope things will get better and every tml will be a better day.
=====================================================================================

i guess thats all... take care guys... and enjoy ur weekends =)

Screen Shots

2005-06-06T23:35:00.000+08:00

an overview of what i've been doing at home after work? of course... not everyday, but here are all my screen shots of my new game ROSE Online. click on e pictures to view it in a larger format oks... =) pictures of different charx ^_^

hehehes... i have some more but..well, all these will do. Hmm...some pictures are not taken in good 3D grapics quality to reduce lagness. Take care guys!

so long...

2005-05-29T10:00:00.000+08:00

Finally~ im blogging todae... hahas. Once again, realised that i havent been blogging for some time. Hmm, Work wise... guess everything is so far so good. But of corse im planning to look for another job. I'll just have to go with the flow now... since i needed the experience the company gave. Whats more... i'll be involved in a project. This is where i kinda start learning i guess. Argh..cant wait for pay day... hais. and i cant wait for the 3 months probation to be over. kinda miss school now... hais. school was fun... we had our friends. Now working already, we meet new people, and working life... seems to make no life for me -_-" morning til evening work...and sat and sun~ it's packed with people wherever you go. Nevertheless... dont worry pals... wont forget my school friends. it's just that... kinda tired to be online etc. Well, when there's a time... we will meet =D hehehes. hmmm basically workplace is condusive and fun. Just that benefits wise... it's not so gd. but heck with it... Just enjoy while we can.

todae is sundae! enjoy todae guys... take cares all.

haiz...im trying~

2005-05-18T23:15:00.000+08:00

yea... im trying... trying hard to absorb things that seemed so new to me..i guess this is part and parcel of being in a new phase of life~ no? well, abt work place. i got to know alot of people and i guess... im really lucky~that i get to know alot of nice people out there. Now working and preparing for a project that i'll be involved in. of course i would love to do a gd job... but im afraid that i fail. but i guess i really got to thank Colin for helping me out and guiding me all the way, really fortunate to have him as my test leads. And not forgettin my colleagues~ Nico... Shirley... Jason. All NYPians! >.< lols. then got to know Herry... Anggit... Wilwin... Soon... they're from indonesia and are all very nice guys. Guess now im going to get more busy for the project thing. well...Gambadehx!

Hais...im stuck at doing the excel thing now... sad. Have to finish 70 IDs. After that still need to pick up some new knowledge. well... maybe it'll be interesting i guess. Cuz im gonna research on -R and -RW... new stuffs eh? cool...

back to my field work guys. HL... look forward to being colleague with you wors! ;p

take care guys.

work work work

2005-05-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

la la la... hais. sians... feel that working life has not much life -__-" erm.. my job mah.. lets see. todae is my .. 3rd day at work? hmm find the peeps there quite friendly though. They'll make you comfortable.. or so they try~ and i guess its team work over there. i get to know some of the products there and some high end technologies. And... well, most of the products aint gonna be marketed locally though. My sis commented that my job sounds like a high class production worker though... kinda sad but well... ok lar. hahas. How do i explain it... hmm~ at least you need a pass to acess the places and offices yea? and well, maybe now e team im in~ the leaders project havent start yet - starting soon though - so basically im as if im on a familiarisation course or orientation. everyday watch movies~ muahahas. but think when e real stuffs get started i wont get these previledges already -_-!" hmm, seems stressed sometimes because some of the testers do hold meetings. You might be stunned like i was initially when i think of the word "meeting"~ but come to think of it... which company doesnt hold meeting, rite? well... im not sure and i cant say for sure im gonna stay with this company for long as in years to go by... unless attractive job prospects yups? hmm now...i can say i take this as a temp or rather contract job~ like what they told me: take this chance to get to know yourself.. see and feel for yourself what you like and what you dont like.

yups~ ok la... nite time loh~ go slp go slp. nites guys. tk cares =)

yets another siansations? >_<

2005-05-07T14:44:00.000+08:00

hee hees. im backs! Recently keep going out... all of the sudden.. we are all adults? and... sometimes i realised that... i've missed out some part of my lives i guess.
One of my gamer friend... whom graduates from uni and had a family, he told me once:
To age is simple, To age gracefully is hard.
Well, seems so true -__-" and now i guess im kinda afraid of aging. Hais... time really flies i must say...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

well... evening going to Jos place wors...lols. i wish this birthday girl advance birThdaY first.. hehes. Jo is a gret friend i've come across during my FYP and.. yaps, im glad i did cross her path. And then met her "gang" and ... thanks guys, really very glad to be able to get to know you all. And i must say... lols, i get to know hilwa better also =)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

hmm now im wondering why im blogging? Just to update? maybe... lols. but i would say im haing mixed feeling though. Just feeling... lazy -__- lethargic. No feeling to do anything... =x

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Im a... Chicken supreme pizza! -__-" sounds tasty...

You are a Chicken Supreme Pizza!Be it spicy, roasted or ham, you love them all! Just like your attitude towards friends, you accept and love your friends for who they are. You are also faithful to your family and friends; someone who can be trusted and depended on. One bite into this pizza and you'll love it for life!

Which type of Supreme Pizza are you?
Brought to you by Pizza Hut

anyways... have a nice weekend peeps =D take cares~

~sians~

2005-05-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

woots... tired. so many things happened... so tired to repeat everything agains though... just dont nderstand... does money really matter that much?!
i Mean... when you go for someone you wanted to be with for what we always say "the rest of our lives"... do you go for love, or money?
Dont understand~ just dont understand... Why mummies always like their daughters find someone rich rather than someone who'll love them. i mean~ instigate me to buy things i want and ask him to pay for it. Maybe im just not cut for this kinda tricks man. Or... hint at you that there are more choices out there and maybe some better ones...
Arent we supposed to just look for someone who's able to give us the type of happiness we wanted..? Rich or not.., to me... personality is very important. I like the way he treated me like his princess... something i do not wish to give up, nor do i think that other guys will do the same too. i mean no offense. i just dont wanna take the risk. And of course im not someone who'll give up so easily on something that has been going on for 3 years going 4.

Hais... stayed at home will also get nagged~ the so called "techno". Sit infront of computer... will also somehow... gotten myself into the "techno" Sh!t. Anyways... anything i do seems so out of the way to her. Dont understand and dont know whats her problem. And i dont really wanna care!

oks... went to AMK K-box with my xiao yan and xiao yun. went from 1pm+ and stayed on till 6.30pm then got chased =x hahas. had alot of fun singing on and on, and blasting and shouting along with those songs e.g. She's Tong kuai. lols.

hmm what else. Sat evening going to Jos house for dinner =) and... SUN! going to see the Superstar contest by chn U. HL!! Dont forget ok? i'll let you know abt the details ^_^

lets see...~ And~~ Mon start work already >.< dont know shd i feel happy or sad. Got through the interview and was notifies to start work on mon. Well... pay-wise 1.4 , 5 days work and... boring job according to the person in charge. Went and found out alot of people from nyp... ^_^
post? -- software tester.

oks~ now gonna shower already... so ShaGs... cannot use too much computer also... or else will get e techno sh!t agains~ tk cares peeps.

sleepy

2005-04-27T22:55:00.000+08:00

tired...haha. Todae went out to plaza sing with HL, Yuns, Zhen, Jo and ah Heng... ^_^ we went to PS and actually wanna watch "Be cool" but there's only one time slot and we missed it...hahaz, so went to Cafe cartel instead, also celebrate zhen's birthday in advance~ after which we walk to cine to watch "Be cool". Hmm, i find the show not bad though... some are hidden humours i figured. but the rock in that show is kinda funny~ lols. Think he really can be a gd actor. ok la, we walked around abit and went for dinner at yoshinoya~ ... hmmm. Thnx guys... for the fun todae. lols. talked alot of craps at the cafe cartel~ >.< and we also went for a walk in HMV! lols. Find HL a huge fan of moo moo~ hahas. And that ah heng... -__-" forever ah heng~ lols... hope he dont change, cause he always got loads of craps for pple to laugh at =x and Jo Jo mah..~ Jos, realli sorry k... ^_^"
well, after that went our own way... and me and zhen went to north point walk ard and buy her stuffs before we went home~ lols.

hAppy adVance BiRthdaY aH zHEn.

now kinda tired. Find one day lets go shopping~ lols. oks... wanna sleep already~ tired (~"~)

nites nites & hope tml is better for everyone.

SuNdAe

2005-04-24T12:57:00.000+08:00

Another sun... thinking of tml~ the only word that came into my mind - siansations. Friday...was supposed to be our unofficial end to our final yr project. Well... unFortunately, our supervisor came in and break the news to us that we need to stay back a wk more to help him out since he is goin to enter whateva competition. man... he sounds like he's purposely ruinin it... i mean... c'mon... why does this sickening fella dont tell us earlier instead~... last day... omg. juz wanna get him out of my sight as soon as possible. Really kinda sick sick sick~ of all those... am i wrong to call 'em psychos? or weirdos? Authoritarians? whateva.
Went to sim lim sq yestd. had my lunch there and guess what? a Guy... who dont look too middle age to me.. and i ovr heard 'em speaking english (pardon me... they talk kinda loud enough for the nxt table to ovr hear) ok...what he did was, he walked ovr to my table and put his tray on my table. im eating lor... hello~? i look at him stunned and i guess with "what the..." look on my face... he smiled at me..~ Do they deem that as polite for someone to put unwanted tray onto another person's table - especially when the person is sitting there and eating. i definitely dont have the cheek to do so...not to say SmiLe at the person. Wonder if they have a list of basic manners... haiz. Last time i when i went to sim lim to get a CPU for my sis... same kind of unlucky things -running into inconsiderate people- my cab was snatched 2 times (a pair of indian couple and a lady) under my nose. i feel like standing infront of the road at that moment. Im ready to carry my CPU and stuffs to the cab... and those people just run towards it and went in... i waited quite some time... and of course ~ am pissed. before me... two caucasians' cab were snatched too... by singaporeans. At that moment in time i wanna dig a hole and hide. How could you do this? i mean... how will the other countries people think of us? and the cab isnt labelled with "on call" sign too.
Hmm.. i getting more and more crappy eh... Just wanna pen out these out so i wont feel~ sad? lols. Still wondering what jobs to get better. i wanted to try this company... find myself quite attracted to it and an urge to try it... just that it's located quite far from my house... location? interest? dilemma~

Guess i need to think ovr carefully. Hope everyone has a nice sundae. And hope every tml is a better day >.<

so many things....

2005-04-21T18:33:00.000+08:00

juz felt like bloggin...alot of thots goin thru my head. Maybe is because tml is wk 12... the end of our final year project. i guess some of us might be wondering... when will we see each other again... Finding it kinda ironic. From wk 1 to 6 we were complainin and was waiting for the time to pass by quickly.. now? kinda not bear to... some of us might be wondering... isnt it weird that we need not come to sch again~...til the day our certificate arrives. i do miss all the fun times... really miss them alot. we've grown? maybe...

well... after reading yun's blog... i kinda felt~ i have not much life eh? haha... yea... and i think... yups... alot of things~ i chose to keep to myself. ya...

sometimes juz feel so tired... of everything~
came to realise that it's tiring trying to be something you arent born to be. I did alot of stuffs... from getting into first class in sec sch to finishing poly~ it wasnt easy for me but i tried~
... from working odd jobs to handling household chores whenever i can... and saving my allowances to pay for my every own needs and wants. and of cuz... trying to understand and communicate with "her" ... listen to "her" complaints abt whatever. I tried everything to be something she would considered as proud of.
The blow came to me when i heard... She complained that i am not "automatic"~ a few times~ and behind my back~ im so shattered... everything i did was extra? or unappreciated?
because that time was term break and i really needed one, therefore, i did not go out for temp jobs. I guess it's the subject of money eh...
she made clear that shall i continue any studies im on my own. Sometimes i really do not know what she wants. Maybe money...thats all.
i became to isolate myself in my own room. i tried to be what i think is already best that i could. but she thinks that it isnt enough. well... maybe such is life? but frankly im disappointed~ very... She doesnt even really care to listen what i have to say. Dawned on me that...
people can be that realistic... to the extent even ... she's someone whom you might think shd be close to you. I know... after this FYP... if i do not find a job yet stays home.. she wont give me peace... nvr. cause i've experienced it before already, i know.
so sometimes i already given up on everything... that used to carry any tinest potential colors of hopes.

*~~*
*~Guys... im sorry if im ever blunt to you... cause i never meant to~*
*~And thanks for being there for me ... ~*
*~~*
*~Such is Life~*
*~~*

I just wanna change my nxt phase of life... living for my own~ and i mean... for my own.

enough of my craps... hahas. Heard the results will be out on May 4th. i wanted to work part time and study at the same time. So planning to save up for some degree courses at other recognise yet not govt campus... considering taking other diplomas too. well... cause i think IT is too tiring cuz this line moves so fast~ u need to get on it everytime or upgrade urselves as and when you move on.

well... i do hope all the best for you guys~ really. tk gd carez... and best of luck for your future endeavours *cheerx* tml bring camera~ =D

-ever wonder why you dont see a clown's tears-
-because the tears is in his heart-

~home sweet home~

2005-04-18T20:01:00.000+08:00

Phewz~ just had a refreshing bath... Goin through my head were actually the no of days left in school... counting down on 4 more days~ and that's it. We wave the lab gd bye and awaits for our official graduation. What's next? Kinda being bothered by it... i'm not sure if im ready to step into my career path or am i ready to face the outside world. Suddenly it's no more books, notes nor lectures. And i cant really imagine some of our own cliques go each of our own way. All of us may have different paths and aims in life... what's mine? hahaz. Maybe im kinda afraid to face this...i would refer to as.. "new life". It's a life when you start to earn your own incomes instead of allowance. hmm... meaning... growing adults? or... young adults... waving gd bye to our teenage years where companys' are friends and books, and... etc... im gonna miss my poly years.remembering~ how tips are give near exam or common test period... time flies~ how i wish im young again... who doesnt? lols anyway... got to find this website, kinda cool:

quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_work/tests/career.htm

my results:
You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people.
You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.
You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses.
You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings.
You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.
You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.

i juz wish all peeps gd luck with all of you all's future endeavours... its a wonder how ime flies...

....
graduation (friends forever)
so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
where we're gonna be when we turn 25
i keep thinking times will never change.
keep on thinking things will always be the same
but when we leave this year we won't be coming back
no more hanging out cause we're on a different track
and if you got something that you need to sayyou better say it right now cause you don't have another day
cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
these memories are playing like a film without sound
and i keep thinking of that night in junei didn't know much of love but it came too soon
and there was me and youa nd then we got real cool
stay at home talking on the telephone
we'd get so excited, we'd get so scared laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fairand this is how it feels...
as we go on, we rememberall the times we had togetherand as our lives change, come whateverwe will still be, friends forever
so if we get the big jobs and we make the big money
when we look back nowwill our jokes still be funny?
will we still remember everything we learned in school?
still be trying to break every single rule
will little brainy bobby be the stockbroker man?
can heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
i keep, i keep thinking that it's not goodbyekeep on thinking it's a time to fly
and this is how it feels....
as we go on, we rememberall the times we had togetherand as our lives change, come whateverwe will still be, friends forever(la la la la la la la la……)(we will still be, friends forever)
will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
can we survive it out there?can we make it somehow?
i guess i thought that this would never end
and suddenly it's like we're women and men
will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
will these memories fade when i leave this town
i keep, i keep thinking that it's not goodbyekeep on thinking it's our time to fly....
as we go on, we rememberall the times we had togetherand as our lives change, come whateverwe will still be, friends forever
....

o.0"

2005-04-15T14:52:00.000+08:00

hmm. kinda sianz today. he came once during lunch time le...hehez. but during lunch time lor...haiz, juz now so hungry manz...because from morning did not have anything. waited so long for lunch and yet he came lor...hmm but~ nevertheless i cant do much ~ because such is life. i cant hate him forever, what's more... only one more wk left. hopefully~we wont get extended that is. Hope everyone can finish this peacefully. hmm..ok...maybe i'll hate him againz for the one wk til he gets out of my sight~ =D

Yesterdae... well. had some tiffs and receive comment saying that i have changed. And i guess... i knoe. I realised myself that my temper aint getting nowhere but kinda worse. And i hope it's not my depression... it has been so long since it came back... ok. maybe this year. haiz...im also not very sure.

Just now lunch so funny... got 2 AIA agents approach us and says is doing survey. hahaz. end up me and ah zhen sit there blur blur and listen to them talk. i wonder if we consider it as entertainment, but definitely noone enjoys that. And hack... he says he'll call me tonight to confirm if im interested in their so called "savings plan" and talk abt it for almost an hour~ heck! i just tell him straight today cannot. he suggested sunday and i rejected too. end up he says monday night. i told him i wont be picking up calls from my mobile when im at home and dont call between 9am to 6pm. lols. i thinking of "releasing his pigeon" already. i have no money to invest nor do i have the money to work for me. i'll can only do that when i've worked enough for the money. Lols. maybe i get people to settle this for me =D

kinda sianz. ToDaE is fridae~ im trying to pyscho myself todae is a wk end...and being sianz will waste it. but i think it's because we're in the lab, the feeling just cant be stopped or blocked out. Been doing some AES, and now no mood already. Wonder if i should catch a movie later... or go home watch my sets of crayon shin. i like that series of anime... so cute! Ah zhen says it's 2D though... lols. cant wait for 5.30pm to reach. yea~ mark another end to a tiring aimless wk. Then left one more wk and im out of here. Time flys really fast.

i do hope after graduation... we wont forget people who crossed our paths before, maybe the period of time be long or short...even for a few mins~ sometimes it makes a difference...a few mins is enough to crack some jokes sometimes. Sometimes things do come and go in our life. haiz...

im not very sure if im ready to step into a career path yet though. it seems so fast. i might just take a break first. What's more a career is a life-long thing.

lols. i think enough of my crapiness. well...todae is fridae peeps. cheer upz and have fun! fridae is supposed to be a relaxing day yea? marks another end. now left ah zhen tues presentation~ lols. zhen can do it wan la...ho hoz =p but still... gd luck zhen and jia youz bah!

hmm recently weird weather. Drink more water? lols. tk gd carez peeps. i go and continue my dae dreaming~ =D jia youz everyonez =D

contradicting?

2005-04-13T21:06:00.000+08:00

hmm...was wonderin if i shd blog. hahaz. but finally decided to blog. well, todae...consider lucky? becuz Pita came in and only start his "neh neh neh" kinda scary. He suddenly call me and Jo to go ovr halfway thru his conversation with the guys...man, that moment was scary. Just dont like the way he talks and dont consider our effort and feelings. Guess everyone feel kinda sHaG todae..becuse basically after lunch break we were all afraid to step out of the lab. dammit. ok..i admit i went abit longer for lunch break with Jo.

The funny thing is..when we were walking back to blk S, Jo was telling me: "That person (at the other end near blk Q) walks like Pita (our supervisor)"
i replied after taking a quick glance: "Eh ya lor, really look alike." i was wondering also why the color of his shirt looks familiar...
then Jo saw him adjust his specs...and she became agitated saying its him! and we both took the short cut and ran like hell to reach the lab before him...true enough it's him. Quite an event eh? =.="

He came at 2pm (around there) and gave us an hour to prepare a set of presentation slides... for a student who is goin to do AD presentation. well... the gist is~ he gave us a hour to set up the slides. well, just dont like last min order. roger that... the key word is ORDER. First time see someone just barge in and say: "Set up the slides for the eze-eye lamp project. i'll be back in an hour."

hmm...todae kinda tired. dunno if you guys heard this hokkien star wars before or not...it's quite some time ago since i came to know this stuff:

*yawnz* gonna rest early todae..tml still awaits~ and i havent finished up the ppt yet. The manager browsed through and has some comments !Heck! whatz their problem...seriouly man...guess only god knows.

take carez all~gd luck to those who stil have presentation awaiting and... well...gd job to those who have it over. *enjoyz* =)

Over... or Not?

2005-04-12T17:24:00.000+08:00

juz passed the Final presentation...but still need to come back and do some add-ons and stuffs...basically i guess can slack bah.
feeling kinda sianz...also dunno why. feel like slping...my feet killing me.. -__- shd have practise wearing heels next time. well..time almost up...had quite a relaxing day...maybe it's because final presentation is over. but seems like pita is entering into some sort of competition.. and we were told to come out with something impressive and is able to win award...followed by: Silver is not considered winning. i juz hope this stress dont go on...im afraid i might not be able to take it. i may choose to ignore him... but not the stress he emphasized on us i guess. hmm...well, juz wanna go home and had a gd rest...

gd day peeps. and gd luck to all those who have comin presentations. =) *cheerz*

~o~ why ~o~

2005-04-09T13:40:00.000+08:00

hmm, another saturdae. wk ends are always so precious hahz. nuthin much to buzz abt so did some bloggin. cant stop blastin mockin bird and... forever love by Li Hom. Get to know the song when i read ah yun's blog. hehe. ultimate sianzationz. i thought after tues final presentation my nightmare will be over! well, looks like it isnt the case.. P.i.T.A finally declared... dammit.. that we have to go back til wk 12. wth. to finish up his lame robotics toy i guess. showed my boyfriend the videos me and my project mates took yestd. he was like "omg, so lame. what's the purpose of completin the things" juz wanna graduate and dont see P.I.T.A anymore. pay me also wil i not consider workin under such supervisor neither would i wanna stay in dat lab under surveilance of security camera and eyes of lab technicians or other lecturers. After bloggin i muz go temple pray pray...rid off my "suay-ness". of all my friends...fancy me bumpin into such situation.

hmm was kinda emotional yestd...i tried to hide it but i couldnt...managed to burst it all out. i dunno is it what P.I.T.A has said past few days. His words as a supervisor aint encouragin at all and was... well... hurting. mayb partially kinda stress workin with such a person. Beginnin to realise... im someone who took pple's comments seriously, especially when it comes to work or... when i dunno a person well... i take their words too seriously i guess. went to browse Jo's archives yestd also. suddenly... it seems that i agree with her... that sometimes... the ugly side of human race is such a let down. mayb we're the same? i guess... in this era... no such things exist already, that is... if you treat pple nice, pple will treat you nice also.
but i dont deny i have met some nice peeps... it kinds of rebuilds your faith in something you're goin to let go of. but... some juz come along and crash it.

haiz... anyway. Give up on NTU reply liaoz. i applied it for fun though... even if i get a seat, dont think i can afford also. bank loan is tiring, espcially the payback part. heard from Jo they gonna send til may. by then i shd be runnin all ovr s'pore to look for jobs. some of my workin friends told me 4 yrs of exp plus dip might get you in easier though. somemore... my GPA... ho hoz. heard GPA 3.5 is the standard for uni... i stil short of 0.351 to reach there...hahaz.

Anyway... got to go prepare lo. go pray pray~ =) take carez and haf a nice wk end~ =)

feelin ... philosophical?

2005-04-06T09:37:00.000+08:00

well, today reached e lab at ard 9am or so... went ard lookin at frens' blog (cuz i've been lazy enuff to blog this few days? hahaz) hmm somehow...westlife came into my mind. yea,you may guess, last time used to like westlife...now i still kinda do, but is cuz of their songs. their songs are... nice? hmm lyrics kinda meaningful too...for some though. i had 2 of their albums though...erm..den there were such a thing call downloading lol. i kinda look at lyrics sometimes (most of e times) mayb cuz thatz wat it draws me into e song...some songs... will sometimes somehow kinda explain how you feel ya? (^_^) but i do hope some songs pull us out...from..whatever might be holding us back.

there's one of their songs: what become of a broken hearted.
one of the part goes~: Now what becomes of the broken hearted, Who have love that's now departed, I know I've got to find Some kind of peace of mind. I'll be searching everywhere.. Just to find someone to care I'l be looking every day.. I know I'm gonna find a way Nothing's gonna stop me now.. I'll find a way somehow.

And ONE we might, already exprience or expriencing: Lost in you
and e part goes:
There's no more waitingHolding out for love, You are my Godsend...That I have been forever dreaming of ..My angel from above. Heaven knows, I'm head over heels and it shows I've played every field I suppose ..But there's something about you..When you're around,Baby I have found, I get lost in you..
What is this feeling, I've never known before That I should touch you Swearing to surrender ever more. That's what I came here for .. Heaven knows I'm head over heels and it shows I've played every field I suppose.. But there's something about you When you're around, Baby I have found..I get lost in a wonderful daze..Lost in your wonderful ways

And one of which i might say it's one of my fav: Can't Lose What you nvr had
And e lyrics goes:
I Show You No EmotionDon'T Let You See What You'Re Doin To Me..Imagine The Two Of Us TogetherBut I'Ve Been Livin In Reality...Fear Of Rejection Kept My Love Inside..But Time Is Running Out So Damn My Foolish Pride...Don'T Care If You Think I'M Crazy..Dosen'T Matter If It Tums Out BadCos I'Ve Got No Fear Of Losin You...
You Can T Lose What You Never Had...Rules Are Made For Breaking.. Nothin Ventured Nothin Gained...
I'Ll Be No Worse Off Then I Am Right NowAnd I Might Never Get The Chance Again...Tried To Fight It But It Cannot Be Denied..Told My Heart I Didn T Want You But I Lied...Now I M Gonna Confess Thati Love YouI Been Keepin It Inside Feelin I Could Die...Now If You Turn Away Then That'S OK..At Least We Have A Moment BeforeYou Say Good Bye...

And one of which i might say it's one of my fav: iF i let you go
And e lyrics goes:
Day after day time pass away N' I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows I hide it insideI keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show to letting you knowI've never felt so much love before*
And once again I'm thinking about..Taking the easy way out
** But if I let you go I will never know...What my life would be holding you close to meWill I ever see you smiling back at me (oh yeah)...How will I know if I let you go...Night after night I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you (no one like you)You speak to my heart (speak to my heart)Its such a shame we're worlds apart...I'm too shy to ask I'm too proud to lose...But sooner or later I gotta choose \

other songs for example by CAKE i might say it's kinda of healing: I will survive ... And e lyrics:

http://www.absolutelyric.com/lyrics/view/cake/i_will_survive/

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Hmm... juz kenna scolding frm that P.I.T.A. and he actually said that all of that is none of his ideas...and all that were our suggestions... and he just only suggested what we should do. haiz~ he really isn't a man of his words...and guess he has gold fish memory too. but how could he be so not gentleman that he actually push all the blames onto us..? haiz...this world is comin to a near end i supposed...all good people are goin to be extinct soon...guess we need something solid out asap. after what he said im really like kinda sad...feel like crying? not sure. just dont knoe why we have to face this kind of treatment...this is so unfair...If at first he allow us to try for something we think is special... something within our reach.. something... within our scope and something...we could accomplish and not so tough to understand...

he indeed wasnt one who could understand and manage pple well...

(o")

2005-04-05T13:36:00.000+08:00

feelin ok recently...oh well.. went to science centre juz now though. think last wk oso got go sci centre..hehez. hmm now blasting Clint Eastwood by Gorillaz in my ear phone... Gorillaz is cool. his cartoonic band - overall cool. hmm Mocking bird by eminem is really nice. hmm...regarding e mt imbiah..saw some bat..lolx. plus the misty and foggy forest... was drizzling dat dae though. ehh..feelin kinda bored. and not much to blog on..mayb im lazy bah somemore the net is like running kinda slow today~ ..argh...sianz. (-o-") slow internet really pissed pple off...

(~o~") browse some comics bah~ (*o*)

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=index2&cid=1077

...hehehez. tk carez all~ =)

unspoken feelinz

2005-03-31T09:26:00.000+08:00

e name i could think of this current blog im writin is: unspoken feelinz. why...frankly speakin, i do not know. Itz a mixture of annoyance, tiredness and... maybe a few pinches of irritations. maybe itz a result from insufficient sleeps and ...i guess the feeling of getting stuck in e lab, facing 4 walls, equipements and computer screen. it was awful... getting last minute order, and as well as nowhere to go and researching for the same thing for a few days, and "someone" keeps changing his mindset. He make us lost in e midst of "foggy forest", something which i can only relate to. the forest is so big we do not know which way to proceed on to, and yet... no instructions/ directions/ hints were given to us. there's juz too many possibilities... too many ways we could have or..can explore. how many times was i reluctant to wake myself up and land myself in e lab... but i could do nuthing.. all i can do is ...like what everyone told me... endure - 2 more weeks to end my torture, end all this stuffs, end... my term in sch. yea, thatz wat im looking forward to now. nuthing... but for e whole thing to be completely ovr. forget abt FYP, forget abt e someone we all hate -- someone we nicknamed P.I.T.A. (one of our project mate came out with this-- muz keep her name protected-- =p)
now im kinda lost..as in what to feel, what to think and what to do. juz feel like sleeping myself to death sometimes, doesnt need to think too much. i know my temper is ready for eruption sooner or later, it's kinda getting worse. i know my faith is shaking... im juz afraid it'll fall apart. i know i muz hang on... im juz scared that im not strong enough... wellz... all i could do now i guess is try.

yestd went to watch "The Eye 10" out of curiousity. after e show was feeling ehh --- curiousity killed e cat? kinda like that. i was expecting something scary though..but the show..erm... end up kind of ...comedian? in some parts of the show... yes, it's crappy, i mean lame but funny. it's a ...i dunno. if you guys are really interested in e show...i can only say: watch it at your own risk. different people different taste, maybe you'll like it? i dont know. well, mayb im used to watchin ang mos' movies -- becuz they invest alot? -- in "The Eye 10" i dont really...or to be precise i dont... recognise any of the actors/ actresses in it. The introduction make it looks like a locally made movie~ becuz i saw "mediacorp raintree picture"? juz my wild guesses. but honestly speaking~ out of 5 stars..i would rate it ...2? or 2.5 the most. it adds some funny stuffs in it yea? its funny. erm..maybe not scary enough for me. i would prefer resident evil and final destination though? but was surprise quite many people watch yestd.

ehh..ok.gotta get back to reality --- project. gotta fulfil e last minute order.

*take carez all*

(>o)>

2005-03-29T14:46:00.000+08:00

gonna tea-break le..hehe. abit sianz as usual... nuthin else to do..look for videos and brainstorm for ideas. i forgot to bring thumb drive though. hmm but really, if you guys are sianz, can try to browse this quite-interesting webbie:

http://www.holylemon.com/

got videos, flash..games..blahz~ something i've surfed upon though.hmm nuthin much to blog about todae. feel like slping now...waitin for 6pm aimlessly every mon to thurs, fri is 5.30pm~ hehez -.-" it's a wonder our lab got almost everything blocked or locked.

*take carez all*

tO mOunt Imbiah

2005-03-27T13:05:00.000+08:00

kewl~so fast.. sun come againz~ juz thot of blogging before i go out bah.hehez~my niece came to stay yestd though.Fri i watched the 3 episodes of LOTR..guess wat..i watch until 7.30am like that den slp~! hahaz.was really tired, so decided to skip sentosa outing. but nevertheless...im currently plannin for nxt wk... really feel like goin for sentosa's Mount Imbiah, most likely am goin to camp at sentosa's beach..hur hur~! The first time i went dragon trailing, managed to go up the mountain...but the second time i went, couldnt seem to find the detour... so feel like goin to search againz, and take pictures! hehez.

"The summit of Mount Imbiah, where the remnants of British pre-World War II gun emplacement still stand today. At 60 metres above sea level, this scenic lookout point commands some fabulous sea views of the Western Anchorage. Originally used as an "examination battery" to screen merchant vessels before they enter the Singapore harbour, the battery was abandoned in the 1930s."

suddenly the view of bukit timah hill came into my mind though.hehehez.
http://www.nparks.gov.sg/nparks_cms/display_level2.asp?parkid=8&catid=2

then came sugei buloh... hahaz.
http://www.sbwr.org.sg/visitorinfo/tipsforthevisiors/

Had a trip to Bukit timah hill durin sec sch time...was quite nice except for e humidity...it's juz something away frm e city. We even spotted some monkeys there... and you know explore...but i guess need to do some homework first if we were to go ourselves (in a group). you noe... sometimes you spot things, hehez. And sungei buloh...went there when i was sec 1, was quite fun as in..alot of things to see... the swamp~etc. there's king fisher too, well..and snake~but non poisonous of course. remember one of my classmate dinno there was a snake and step on it~ -.- and got biten. nuthing serious juz suffer from eh...swollen wound? but really...juz swollen nuthin else.. -_-" well..cant camp there i guess.hahaz. hmm... okz... looks like gonna rain liaoz. i shd stop daydreaming...
lookin forward to mount imbiah... ^o^

-restless thursdae-

2005-03-24T10:18:00.000+08:00

tml is gd fridae alreadyz~yea...holidae~ spares me a day off away from this lab. he actually told us that they took pictures from the ..ehh camera i suppose? now i bring a "post-it" pad around in school... you know maybe juz stick a note at your desk so he can know where you go without even asking... maybe juz for an example: "i going to toilet to SH*T" o my... trust me..i din let word out purposely...really~ damn, cant stand him. Guess we need to keep smiling at him... hahaz. imagine~ he's "suan-ing" us and we keep smiling at him. he might see that as idiotic, but i dont believe he aint gonna be pissed by dat. im now on a holy mission~! dat is... to keep smiling at him~! make him at night cannot slp... muahahaz~ im not evil, am i? -_-" consider e kind of situation and environment he purposely make for us...i personally think maybe im not evil enough.
heard a comment yestderdae also...dat my temper getting a little bit bad. kinda sad but...guess i need to work on my temper part. maybe itz juz dat...im gettin kinda pissed stayin in e lab and by e person. din mean to diss 'em. but i think whatever they're doin are ridiculous. think i muz really find one day go temple pray asap...rid off my bad luck... would i need a voodoo doll? ho ho...im not bad until that kind of situation yetz. haiz...im hungry... they kept me from breakfast...how cruel can they be...want me to die frm hunger (ToT) haiz...dunnoe. i work alot... i admit i met not enough people outside maybe, but i dont deny i met quite many kinds of people outside.i dont understand why its juz only him dat we cant get along with.and i juz cannot stand him.
frankly speaking, even if they pay me to sit here...IN this kind of situation~i dont think i'll even consider~ invade my privacy by usin camera to keep us under surveiliance somemore. i juz need a pass... pls~ juz pass can already... i dont need very gd grades (~"~) i juz wanna get out of this place. suddenly felt nyp sux...no longer "proud of where i belong"~ now downloading some software to try out...adobe premiere, says there need 1hr...wth. now we're suppose to find some videos to entertain him~cool..found a few, kinda lame ones...but you know... still videos on toys.
lunch time~ so near yet so far~ hungry~ (0_o")

-what goes around... comes around... -

passin boring time

2005-03-23T10:18:00.000+08:00

Your an electric Dragon! Well, Well, Well, Speedy!
Electic dragons are just do darn quick, which
means you must be quick at something. Whether
its running, swimming, or answering questions,
you are super speed. But of course, you have a
craze for video games or computers. You can
play amazingly at any game or at least try to.
Go you!

What elemental dragon are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

come what may

2005-03-22T22:33:00.000+08:00

went to fitness corner with ah lingz..hahaz. initially we decided to take a jog..during lunch time we downgrade the jogging to brisk walking... but end up the track too many people either training or jogging. lolx. we managed a few sit-ups.. arm exercises though... cool. den we were sayin mayb next week den c how den go and jog bah... jia you jia you~ feelin tired. go slp liaoz... nite nitez!~

==================================================================== something juz dwell ovr me, i tried to make myself see
wonder why love is nvr perfect?
cuz we were meant to learn...
to see perfections...
thru' the imperfections.
i try to make myself understand...
i used to think i can...
maybe sometimes things...
juz dont go the way we wants.
i tried to feel my heart,
every beat it sings...
it juz wont lead the way...
and allow whatever my mind thinks.
i shant say any words longer
i assure disappointment lingers
im lost at what else to say...
but ..."come what may"
===================================================================

~early~

2005-03-21T08:59:00.000+08:00

im early todae.now in lab though...hahaz.but how come i dont see them comin in to check attendance? -__-" ehh now also dont noe wat to do exactly so wrote my blog..ltr gonna do my resume... i keep postphoning them. hmm... do liaoz can upload into my eCareer account then apply for job~ hehez. kinda sort of cash... guess im in such situation most of the time. sometimes im abit guilty though..for not accompanying my frenz to the movie...
*guys i hope u all understands k... sorriz >.<"*
i hope one day i can go wif u all..
~ partially becuz i havent recover from my cpu loss... i treat my cpu like baby... know why?-- haiz~cuz most of my $$ spent on it -_-"~ datz why now my cpu i dont consider as Acer cpu already... dis poil dat spoil... haiz~ gonna change the mouse some day and the speaker too.end up i think only the main board will b acer i guess. hahaz.
so quite happy dat my mum offer to pay abit for my monitor for me...hehehez >.<"...well, guess... another part will be...erm... allowance really used to either pay for my mct or my hp bills...so i guess is like.. anything i want i gotta get it myself. so...kinda tight on hand.
hmm todae i reach at 8.45am! miracle... i remember only time i came early was the first few days of F.Y.P. ~heez... but recently they force me come early =.=.. so my ultimate plan will be~! to CLaIm my mornin breakz~ muaHaHaz~ =D do i sound evil? no rite... ho ho hoz.
=.= feel like slping~ think u guys see my blog..everydae my mood will be tired...hur hurz~ -.-"
ltr gonna go haf my kopi... think im hook on caffaine~ =.=~ sianz. nid to change but...aiyo..now no kopi cannot...u'll see a panda! -.-"
mornin i went to doodle Yunz tagboard n lingz tagboard b4 comin sch~ho ho ho...im confessing~ -.-"
haiz... finally think i shd end all dis ar... i think im talkin crapz already -- no enuff slp =.="" --cant stop yawnin while im writin all dis stuff~ >.<"

take carez guys-- gd dae to ever-ri-Bardi -- *CheeRx up!* *^o^v*

-if mondae blues makes u blue-
-y not try to make it yellow so it brightens u up-

sianzationz

2005-03-18T13:09:00.000+08:00

yupz.todae is fridae..another so called holy end of an wk. not really happy though..started my mornin ehh..bad? Got caught late againz..kinda sad..got asked to sign a late form..so bad~ im only late for 15mins. go home also cannot go home early...dunno what other crapz they gonna come out againz... erm..maybe~ No feeding of Lab iNhaBitAnts? this lab is like... a zoo. or..would you prefer alienation lab -- used to examine or exhibit special species. can only go break...other then that..no where else.haiz... im trying to psycho myself.. "Such is Life" i guess my timin under uNauthOrized ObservatiOn. so nxt week need to be early or punctual. Crapz. it was all nice and peaceful until those freaking things started to come abt. suddenly everything juz sux man. this place is under surveiliance somemore.maybe they are psychos that install spywares on our terminal to spy us... them seemed to know everything..or..most of the things that we are doing. My command promt was blocked yesterdae. i dont even noe how they got to know i did meddle with some "net sending" stuffs and my terminal was like... a little angle off the camera lor.. HecKz.
-sucH is Life-
now that joreen remindz me...hahaz. i saw wendy's blog yestd. ehh i guess i take that as a compliment though..bambi is a cute thing yea~? hehez. abt happy-go-lucky mah... erm.. depends on how one interprets e term actually. im friendly to those who are friendly to me though.

-we can't change the people or world to compromise or suit us-
-but we can change ourselves to compromise and suit the world-

alamak...dont noe how shd i continue... nothing else more to say..my mood is really ruined todae. still feels like its storming ovr my head. no mood for anything though. cant wait for the whole thing to pass... i just hope i dont flunk this whole stupid nonsense. now im like sinking into ultimate sianzationz. kinda cant wait to go home and slp everything off~ *peaCe*

-perfect is ... -
-learning to see perfections through imperfections-

LOTR quiz -.-"

2005-03-17T20:52:00.000+08:00

erm..saw this quiz on wendy's bloggiez..hahaz.so went to take a look since it looks fun..lolz

You scored as Arwen. You're Arwen Evenstar! This elven princess may not get in on too much action, but she's always optimistic and hopeful for the future. She does what she can to help her love, Aragorn, who is off fighting, and is always supportive of him.
"I would rather spend one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone."

Arwen

63%

Samwise

56%

Gandalf

56%

Eowyn

56%

Frodo

50%

Faramir

50%

Pippin

44%

Aragorn

38%

Gollum

25%

Which LOTR character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

SHAG!

2005-03-15T09:48:00.000+08:00

waoz..can you believe it? i juz bought my Geforece 4 FX graphics card...damn.. DaMmiT~
-____- i can believe my luck man~ my monitor spoil after i bought the graphics card.. what is acer's problem?! the first thing dat was spoil was the acer keyboard...well, fine. i replaced it with a Logitech -- which seems fine til now. After which... comes the problem of my HDD... juz great~ i replaced the HDD by buying a new HD from sim lim..cool... now? juz a few days ago... the graphics card... yestd when i took out the old graphics card... seems burnt! omG! and i went to buy the new graphics card~ and yestd.. the monitor juz died out on me and wont power up now. what could be worse?! i dont wanna buy anything from acer from now onwards... it seems to me that my warrenty last 2 years~ after the 2 yrs stuff.. problems kept surfacing. Now i have to go and look for a new pc and monitor man. Gonna aim for a AMD processor cpu. wished i could take the SATA Gamer (MSI 939) but it will cost me $780 man. wHY!? =.= i feel so unlucky all of the sudden from yestd...though i tried to shake off the thot~ but i couldnt! yestd really couldnt slp... praying for miracle. and todae morning...well... no miracle~ monitor still wont start up. and the cheapest i can find on the price list is $165 philips 15'CRT. the fortunate paert is ..i guess... erm..my mum is gonna pay for the cpu? -.- well..im still left with the monitor..damn. cant everything juz be betA?~ pls god... -__-" i juz want everything to pass me by smoothly! sad... =.= so shag now...no mood to do anything...cant wait to go home... dun understand why... spend til im broke and still this kind of things happen... why... T_T *soBz*

... suNdAe ...

2005-03-13T20:00:00.000+08:00

which sundae doesnt remind me of mon.. -.-" pls let me noe~ lol. todae supposed to go to my elder sis birthdae though..but didnt went cuz of... ya noe =.=~ e unconveniency of certain things, timing juz aint right.. and i guess i get emotional todae, kinda moody..not sure why. sometimes juz cant keep wondering -- juz cant stop myself from thinking too much -- mayb datz why i affect some pple ard me... sorriz ...
i really wonderz why Sometimez things... can nearly fall apart when you think itz strong. and sometimes i really ponderz on what exactly is relationship abt... sometimes...abit tired, really. plus...recently e weather is really bad -- hot and humid -- bad~ -__- not worse but still bad. i wanted to go to genting in april after my project ends... i wanted to go and have fun...you noe, before i really step into e working life. i kinda curious abt how working life will be and how it will affect me..hmm... am quite sure it wont be as fun as school though -- in my opinion. and you might wonder todae is sun... why am i thinking of so many things eh? =_=" i oso dunch noe. but mood aint really gd that is...mayb thatz why so many thotz coming back to me.
Mayb... i am really hoping my depression isnt back. and i am really hoping not to lose myself... cuz i dun wanna lose things that meant so much to me. i am a person who isnt gd at expressing myself, not at all. i wanted to stop myself expressing what i wanna say by using actions... yet sometimes e words i said might hurt. how do you keep something between you and someone built on trust without trust? ...sometimes i really wonderz... can a relationship be kept well between 2 person who is afraid of losing each other...
Past few days i've been ... keeping it -- what i felt. i din wan disagreement. i know arguments happen when 2 stubborn people came abt competing who to win. We might nvr wanted any of us to lose -- but sometimes we did it unintentionally. Like what i heard they always say maybe.. such is life...
Guezz i be back to play my game better. hahaz... be it neopets or Adventrue quest.

oh ya..this online free game i found online..might look childish.. erm...lol.graphics abit lame and stuffs..itz kinda cool. itz a flash rpg game. can try it if you're free or bored -- anyone.

http://www.battleon.com/

or for those who survived Classroom 1 or The cheating game. My fren sent me the Episode 2... can try it out if you want too.

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/201306

hopefully... everything will be alright -- yes i want it to be. i juz hope everything turnz out fine and well, hopefully another nice wk end to pass thru.

-i pack my hurt in a box...
cover it with a smile...
and hide it at a corner of my heart - -(Janice)-

tOdae is FriDaEz~

2005-03-11T16:58:00.000+08:00

wee... todae is friday. symbolizing the holy end of a wk. and i found out only juz now that my blog time setting is LA time~ -_-" well, um..letz see..~ 5:05pm meaning 25mins to go yupz? hahaz. past few daez i oso dun wanna think 2 much though~ sometimes when 2 person are b z at their own thingz... disagreement are inevitible...i mean sometimes. coolz..sometimes really go thru some thotz in my head.. -_- mayb i aM philosophical -- hope i doesnt spell wrongly...lol. todAe i was wondering abt my oLd signature...that i kinda like:

"Do you have a plaster? --- cuz i hurt myself when i fell for you"

well, guess i still think itz cool. sometimes i feel like... life or rather.. in love.. itz like we were walking on a street or field... we were happily walking on and on...until when we trip and fell. den we will feel pain. only after that we learnt to walk with care... the stone that tripped you brought you tears and pain mayb..but it also brought you a lesson well learned no? ^_^"

reminds me of alot of thots that used to filled my mind though. between someone who is romantic, but aint sure if he can be there for you each time you need them and someone who isnt romantic, but am certain that he'll take care of you when you need it...who would you choose? well..it depends.. i used to remind my very gd fren for 7 yrs~
"pls... dont try for something you aint sure of... dont try trading your possible happiness for mayb your lifetime -with- a moment of happiness you aint sure if it will last long."

"if an encyclopedia can give you ans to a thousand and over qns...
wHy it doesnt show me the ans to whY love hurtz?"

i still remember the feeling to let go of something that means alot to you... it really hurtz.. but i did it.. hahaz. of cuz dunch wish to remember that hurting feeling. but sometimes... guess we have to learn... itz tough... itz a challenge...and i hope it nvr happen to me againz~..

One of my very favourite song

2005-03-09T16:19:00.000+08:00

Well, one of my favourite song... really like it so much i can keep repeating it.. itz kinda meaningful.. as in the sense of lyrics, songs and rap got the beat! guezz itz becuz i do share some views and values of life same as the Song creator...

Song by Shawn Song Yue Ting.

http://www.zheteng.com/ttt/lifeview.htm

******************************************************************************************************************* finaLLy... week 6 presentation is over. i juz hope everything goes fine and good though. ~cheeRz~ letz juz try to Get immune to p.i.t.A? lol.
~wHat yOu doeSnt See..doEsnt MeaN tHey doEsnt Exist~

oOo...and todae first day our supervisor din come in and chek on us...hahahaz.abit funny and weird not seeing him ard though. later news came was he was slping in his office.. -_-" think sometimes he oso very poor thing ar..anyway,todae is really a slack day. after lunch..found that lab is havin class until 6pm...den went to tutorial room to slp man. after slping stil havin class..went up to 4th storey find soon heng, who seem to b kinda b z then usual..strange lolx. well...feel like goin home liaoz since nuthin to do might as well go home..can slp somemore -__-" but at the same time scared he come last min. so sianz man. finally...timez gonna up. -.-~ i wanna go home... *~sObz~* T_T
hahaz..really kinda bored.todae most of the time editing my blog thing..
*bub-byez*

2005-03-07T19:27:00.000+08:00

life...

it isn't about eaCh breadths you take every moment...

...it's about how eVery moments taKes eaCh of your breadth away...

aNd wHen yOu loV3 ...

loV3 liKe thErez No toMmOrrow~

iF iT eNdz~ yOu tHen kNew ... yOu've really Lov3.. aNd b3 loVed iN a WaY or AnOtheR~

-JLW-